handjob tips. give me some.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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