i was born a porn star she said
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
