I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
