Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
