Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
