i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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