so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Randomize
