I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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