Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
