if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
