Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU