Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.