Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire

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(626): View more from California

You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.

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(585): View more from New York

Even the bartender felt bad for me

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(904): View more from Florida

taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport

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23 Strangest Things That Gave Dudes A Boner
Read it at the TFLN blog
(604): View more from British Columbia

dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"

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(423): View more from Tennessee

Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...

(1-423): View more from Tennessee

I'm eager to hear this explaination.

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(502): View more from Kentucky

If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.

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(775): View more from Nevada

I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets

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