Texts From Last Night

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  (440): View more from Ohio

  I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.

  (1-440): View more from Ohio

  Why? Who won?

  (440): View more from Ohio

  we don't know. we ran out of oranges.

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  (440): I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges. (1-440): Why? Who won? (440): we don't know. we ran out of oranges. http://tfl.nu/wlmn
  Replies (1) Good night (1714) Bad night (653)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.

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  (716): You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked. http://tfl.nu/6dqf
  Replies (28) Good night (1506) Bad night (5024)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.

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  (303): Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart. http://tfl.nu/j609
  Replies (9) Good night (1659) Bad night (4416)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...

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  (847): can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at... http://tfl.nu/sgdp
  Replies (44) Good night (891) Bad night (7479)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.

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  (606): I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises. http://tfl.nu/i8r1
  Replies (7) Good night (1950) Bad night (1734)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.

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  (508): It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode. http://tfl.nu/vudg
  Replies (4) Good night (2455) Bad night (683)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.

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  (601): Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce. http://tfl.nu/tk1l
  Replies (6) Good night (623) Bad night (2518)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.

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  (309): JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap. http://tfl.nu/l0kn
  Replies (8) Good night (2227) Bad night (660)
• Favorite

  (510): View more from California

  I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay

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  (510): I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay http://tfl.nu/zswj
  Replies (15) Good night (1627) Bad night (892)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.

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  (770): Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season. http://tfl.nu/r1ss
  Replies (3) Good night (832) Bad night (1005)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.

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  (214): You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate. http://tfl.nu/ezsl
  Replies (4) Good night (1380) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (905): View more from Ontario

  Drinking loves me for WHO I am

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  (905): Drinking loves me for WHO I am http://tfl.nu/nlm7
  Replies (3) Good night (1274) Bad night (458)
• Favorite

  (678): View more from Georgia

  He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.

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  (678): He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker. http://tfl.nu/0g20
  Replies (4) Good night (1073) Bad night (392)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck

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  (816): I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck http://tfl.nu/awst
  Replies (2) Good night (401) Bad night (921)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again

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  (202): I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again http://tfl.nu/wlsy
  Replies (2) Good night (384) Bad night (626)

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