He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*