New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
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