What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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