i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
