lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize