i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
