Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I checked into jail on foursquare
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I need a burrito and a hug.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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