I think I died a long time ago.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize
