Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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