She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
