So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
