8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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