And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
Randomize
