Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
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