Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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