your thong is hanging out like whoa
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
