I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
