i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
