so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize