Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
