you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
