It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
