How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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