Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
