i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
Randomize
