there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
