it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
