why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
