Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
