It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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