dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
