The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
oh god was she eating orange peels again
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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