This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Randomize
