Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize