Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
