im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
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