the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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