She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
