it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
