people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
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