The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I wannas sexs uuuuu
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
You made out with two different species that night
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
