I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
