I'm going to jail i love you
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
My breasts were aching with rage.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
