glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
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