We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Randomize
