ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
