Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Randomize
