I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
