Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
