I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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