brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
