is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Randomize
